Why, oh why?

Blogs. Glimpses of life, fears and sorrows. Without any knowledge (or much interest) it seems the most popular one's have to do with food, fashion, life in general and health and exercise. Now, my blog that indeed is alive even today is about life. Not my personal life but the life I see through my eyes.

The survival of this blog is an interesting, curious, heart warming and surprising thing. It is not my merit but instead the one's who return here to read my texts. During these past few months people from near and far have casually mentioned mentioned this blog in one way or another. Blogger statistics confirms a steady flow of visitors even though there has been nothing but silence.

If you read this you probably know me. You know that staying in touch is not my forté. You also know that I value nothing as highly as people with a kind heart. These are the people I want to keep in my life, These also happen to be the people who return here every now and then. Life has offered me many joys, many more than I have shared with you here. As a woman a few years older, wiser and more experienced, I offer my compassion and understanding to those who are near. To those of you who aren't - rest assured - I now see a purpose with this blog.

A new setting

Sometimes I remember the existense of this blog. Like now, sitting on my sofa, updating my bookmarks and finding this page among the tens and tens of bookmarks saved. The use of this blog is fairly limited although I seem to have quite an international and exotic "fanbase" :) People blog a lot about everything and nothing. We all could have our own blogs, showing a fabulous side of our quite mediocre lives. So, a blog need a purpose other than boosting my own ego. Therefore, my intentions are very limited in updating this page. Nevertheless, I will give you the fruits of my bookmark list:

Blog Wait but why
Podcast Smart people
TedX Talks on Youtube
Radio 93.9 Latin music
Radio Sky.fm relaxation radio
Audiobooks Librivox
Search engine Duckduckgo.com
Documentary The Story of Stuff

Everything great and out of the ordinary is more than welcome here!

Hugs from Helsinki!

Big changes, vol. 251

New post, new city, new job. Changes, people, kitchen ware, gym, a general sensation of being lost. This is a good time to do a re-introduction.

Hello, my name is Hanna. I am 25 years and 363 days old. I live in Helsinki, Finland. Currently I am working at the Office of the Ombudsman for Minorities that tackles issues of ethnic discrimination. My hobbies are dancing, travelling, learning and participation in virtually anything I have time for. It wasn't always like this. This fall has been a time of changes.

Big change #1 - I'm back in Finland, temporarily permanently. A necessity, no bigger ideology behind it. I've experienced great and unforgettable things but it's also necessary to live a normal life for a while. Since last fall basically I've been getting tired. Not physically, my endurance is still high there. It's rather the psychological part. A constant flood of incredible places, fun people and exciting opportunities becomes more neutral with time. I trekked to a waterfall but wasn't really amazed by it because I've seen the Iguassu falls. A juggler or a singer is usually very mediocre because I have seen approx.. 500 of each performing. When there is very much of everything, making something special becomes trickier. That's where I am, that is my challenge.

Big change #2 - I live in Helsinki. I'm against urbanization. Wait? "Practice what you preach"? *zip* For about as long as I didn't have a job in Helsinki, I didn't want to move here. It's so predictable. Everybody's here. It's the easy solution because the jobs, the ambitious youth and the excitement is here. Of course it's fun to live here because I do feel my opportunities sky rocket when I open my eyes to the job market in Helsinki. Nevertheless, the trend of people abandoning the countryside to live in the cities is simply not the way that this country thrives, which is why I feel I should set an example. On the other hand, my experience and education will serve me best here. Oh what a dilemma.

Big change #3 - I have a job. A good job with soft values. Sometimes I feel like I'm portrayed as the "save the world" person that I'm not.  I'm no corporate lawyer either. The goal is to have a job that satisfies my ambition, pays my living and reflects my values. With dirty politics, networking and money involved in almost (some would say absolutely) everything, it seems my values are the first ones under the microscope. Anyway. I sometimes explain to people that in this office we are a bunch of lawyers that only deal with ethnic discrimination cases. Our clients are immigrants and ethnic Finnish minorities. Our aim is to improve their situation in Finland.

Big change #4  - I have a somewhat steady future. For the first time since 2008, I am actually able (at least in theory) to agree on something for next year. I will be here. Before everything has been temporary so there has been no need to analyze things any deeper. People, places, situations -  they're all manageable for a while. Usually I've been gone before that while has been over. Now I'll stay here. I can create more long-lasting relationships with people again. Maybe the salesperson at the corner shop gets to know me. I will know where I can buy bikes inner tyres. Things can become easy. I can start putting my energy on something else than moving around or creating a new life from scratch.

The conclusion might be that I will change as a person. That remains to be seen.

Hi folks!

Like Bugs Bunny, I salute you. I'm in Finland, on holiday, enjoying the rainy, cold and oh so wonderful summer. My Latin American adventure is behind me. Beautiful memories fill my head and thousands of photos my computer. A little distance from the blog, Facebook and computers in general has been good and it will still hold for a while, just letting you know that the blog is and will be alive and updated as before. This is no "That's all, folk!" in Warner Brothers' style, this is a new episode. There will be more about my past and coming adventures, although most likely my pondering side will get a hold of my writing. For some it's a sign that I'm alive, for some an inspiration for self study. Whatever the reason you're reading this, I'm happy you do - and probably you also have a special place in my world.

Let's see what the future holds in store.

Bolivia growing on me

For several years, Bolivia has been a country I have longed to visit. The other place was Amsterdam but when I finally got there in December last year it was wet and cold and I got very sick. I guess I have to give the city another chance. Anyway. I made it. Greetings from Bolivia.

Bolivia is a country of many extremes. It’s the highest, the poorest and the most indigenous country of the America’s. There are a few big cities with modern amenities but the majority of the people live in very rustic and simple conditions, herding llamas and cultivating potatoes and quinoa. Most roads are unpaved and without signalization; venturing out to the countryside can lead to getting lost for several days.

Quechua and Aymara are the majority's ethnicity and first language. Spanish is learned in school. Most people here have very bad Spanish but also in general the Bolivian Spanish is weird, resembling Master Yoda’s speaking by putting the verb last.

The people give very much importance to their roots. Traditional hats, fabrics and skirts are widely used to identify the origins of people. Having a full set of teeth is a luxury, wearing proper shoes instead of sandals in this freezing climate isn’t really a necessity. A photographers dream this place is.

I have a few more weeks left here. Bolivia is a bizarre country, very different from all other Latin countries. There are several very touristy places but once you ditch the Lonely Planet, there are secrets to be discovered. An amazing country it is.

Goodbye Ribera

Hanna has left Cordoba. My 3-month internship ended this Thursday. It was a very nice day, a bit emotional but it just added to the flavor. I made a Finnish breakfast (porridge, of course) and we had a session where I told them about Finland, the culture, the people, beliefs and habits. They were very enthusiastic in learning about how we (I) saw things and make a lot of question.

In the end came the best part. When thanking me for the time spent at La Ribera, my colleagues said that I had integrated very well into the group. The group my colleagues formed was neither homogenous nor united but I got connected with them. I was one of them. That was the greatest compliment they gave me.

Why was it so wonderful? Because most of my colleagues hadn’t spent time with a foreigner before. When they had heard that a Finnish girl would come to work with them, they had been a bit preoccupied. “Will she be cold and distant? Will we find anything to talk about? Will she be able to do anything here?”. It resulted that all these worries were unnecessary and that we really got along great.

Beside the personal satisfaction, I know that these people will see the world a bit differently now. When they hear somebody talking about Europe, culture shocks, different languages or even sausages, a tiny unconscious part of them will remember me. What an exciting thought that is. My simple existence has permanently changed a fraction of a person’s mindset.

This sounds very grandiose but think about it for a while. You do it every day too. By a simple thing you do or say you influence the other person’s thoughts and create memories that will guide that person’s actions in the future. As people we are fairly insignificant but as individuals we can change the world surrounding us.

TV - the changing face of culture

TV tells a lot about the culture of a country. Especially the advertisements are very entertaining at best, promoting something in a way unthinkable to what we are used to. Today I watched a cooking program. Fairly interesting it was. The people were cooking a type of pastry cream but they had 3 different versions of the cream, “do this”, “this is okay” and “don’t do this”. So now I know that when making crema pastelera the mixture should stay moist at all time.

Comedy here resembles very much the Mexican one. It’s a bit unfair to say but I think comedy here is fairly simple. Big gestures, dramatic reactions, people falling over or bumping into a tree. When you mix that with the fake breasts, bare skin, old men and young women, anything can come out. Oh I do laugh and get amused too but for other reasons than the majority.

News have a yellowish stamp on them. A car crash attracts loads of people watching but also press, taking photos of torn body parts and crying family members, and interviewing eye-witnesses who explain everything to the smallest detail. News are designed to attract attention, be it with blood, drama or young sexy girls (this is the perfect example when it comes to weather forecasts: http://imgur.com/gallery/1JbOn ).

In general there is more passion, more drama and more excitement here. It is possible to feel strongly about anything on TV or in the newspapers, whether it’s about politics or an art exhibition. Living is passionate here and there isn’t a dull day in sight.

Solidarity

One of the biggest differences between the Northern European and Latin cultures is the social aspect of life.  Here people kiss, hug, touch, share things and comfort one another. The affection is noticeable. Even between two people who don’t know each other, a certain level of caring is shown.

Meeting a person a simple question  “How are you?” is asked without a necessity to have a truthful answer. Not in Finland. If you ask someone there how he is doing, you will hear the entire story of the latest visit to the doctor or the problems finding a good sofa for the living room. If you ask something, you really want to get the truthful answer too. For me the casual “How are you?” abroad at first was almost offensive. The thoughts that passed my mind were “You don’t really care, do you?  Hypocrite…”. Haha I’m more relaxed these days.

At work solidarity is very present. The one’s who have cars take the others to and back from work every day. Everybody leaves at the same time, nobody goes early or is left behind. I’ve taken the bus only a handful of times. When it comes to eating I belong to a group of 7 people. Every 7 days it’s my turn to cook for 7 people. The other days I eat the food of others. I simply love that system, it should definitely be incorporated into the international working culture. Also, I've gotten to introduce them some Finnish evryday dishes and I've eaten a variety of feasible main courses.

People share dinners and the mate-drink. They get together for the fun of it.  People invite half strangers into their homes or to spend the weekend in the countryside. If someone has problems, that person will not be left alone. Maybe the government doesn’t provide them with everything, maybe care and guidance isn’t given free of charge. Nevertheless, a person in need has the support, the company, the aid and the affection of other people, be it family, friends, neighbors or colleagues. That is simply priceless.  

Something to lose, something to gain

I'll leave Cordoba this Friday. The four days of next week I can take off so I'm heading to northern Argentina very soon. I'll be there for maybe a week. Then I'll cross the border to Bolivia, do a tour on the Uyuni salt flat (where I'll most likely freeze to death) and slowly head north towards La Paz. After that I'll somehow try to get to eastern Bolivia (where it's supposedly warm and I'm happy). There's a train from Santa Cruz to the Brazilian border and in that area is Pantanal, a huge natural reserve with abundant wildlife. The 27th of June my flight leaves from São Paulo via London to Helsinki.

This is the plan.

The last few days have, as expected, been very active. We've danced a lot. I went to an advanced tango class with a friend, ready to be eaten alive, but noticed that with good dancers I'm good too. In the milonga (the place to dance tango freely) people actually asked me to dance and I started liking Argentinian tango. Now there are a few more things to do and a few more people to meet and then the time is up. Hope this will be a fun week!

Gotta love the modern world

There are people on five continents who read this blog.

Sometimes this is almost incomprehensible. Modern technology enables so much. Sometimes I wonder why I don't put more effort into writing articles in stead of writing this blog, my diary or random thoughts and aforisms on Facebook. It would be nice to write more although it does get its downsides once it becomes a job.

It's great to know that I have a wide audience and that what I write sometimes really has an impact on people. Thank you for being there!

Spanish a.k.a. castellano

Spanish is the main language here in Argentina. Here it's called castellano instead of español after the Spanish region of Castile where it originated. The language is the same in Spain, Mexico etc - except that it's not. The Argentinian and the Uruguayan accent are famous for the "ssh" sound for ll and y. So my name is - yo me llamo is pronounced in Mexico jo me jamo but in Argentina ssho me sshamo. It's charasteristic especially for the Buenos Aires accent. Here in Cordoba the tone is more singing and the "ssh" isn't as common.

Apart from general oddities in verb conjugation, one speciality is the second person singular pronoun (you) that is vos in stead of tú, so you say - tú dices - vos decís. Like in most Latin American countries, the second person plural pronoun (you, pl.) is not vosotros like in Spain. Instead it's the third person plural pronoun (they) that is ustedes, so you speak - vosotros habláis - ustedes hablan. The conjugation of verbs follows this rule as well and I love it!

There's an excellent song on Youtube about the differences of Spanish in different countries called Qué difícil es hablar el español (How difficult it is to speak Spanish). It makes fun of the different meanings of words in Spain and different parts of Latin America. After two weeks in Argentina, I was completely ready to sign that statement. I've had to change my vocabulary a great great deal here because the people simply didn't understand me when I was talking about shoes, fruits, clothes, kitchen items etc etc etc. So speaking Spanish in one country doesn't mean you are understood everywhere. It's like the Swedish in Finland or the French in Canada sometimes. The language needs to be adapted.

My accent has been doing cartwheels here. The language I speak has been developed through studies in Finland, living in Mexico, speaking with Spanish people in Finland and now living here. When I arrived, I was told I have a Mexican accent. One month later my accent was supposedly Spanish. Now quite a few people unknowing of eachother have said a have a Guatemalan accent. Say what?!?! Well that was unexpected. I knew my accent would change and become a weird mixture of Mexican and Argentinian but this?

Spanish is easy to get started with but difficult to master completely. My Spanish is quite good already, I don't have to make an effort to understand or to speak but I do still fail a great deal on articles, choises of words and in general ways of saying things. Improving by the day. So even if you only know how to say Una cerveza, por favor you're doing good. Speaking Spanish is fun! You should try it!

This is my home

I live in Córdoba about 10 blocks from the main square. I live in a house that is in the middle of the block with a small garden and a barbecue, so it is very peaceful and quiet here, which is very rare in a big city like Cordoba. That's why people usually comment that the house is simply wonderful.

We are four people in the house. Silvia is a Spanish girl. She was here last year working as a volunteer. She found a boyfriend, went home in December as planned but then returned in March to Córdoba. After one month of intense job search, she found a good place that matched her curriculum. Now the major employment problems of Spain don't affect her and she can basically stay here as long as she pleases.

Nawal is from France. She's doing a 6-month internship at a company working with intercultural exchange (internships, volunteering, language courses...). Her Spanish has gotten a lot better during these two months. It was with her that we went hiking in the Alpes. She has a really good camera and an infinite reserve of cookies.

Matt is the newest member of the household. He's an Australian who initially found an Argentinian girlfriend that he followed to Buenos Aires. That relationship didn't work out but the love affair with Argentina continued. Now Matt has been living in Argentina on/off for almost 2 years and he's planning to stay for as long as it's nice. He teaches English in different companies like in the Fiat factory.

The house is rented by a foundation called Plurales. Apparently it is active in rural areas in northern Argentina but that's about everything I know. They have meetings here during the weekdays so there's usually people here. It's fine though, I can escape to my big room with a heater that works well although the gas leak forces me to keep the window open even if it's cold. The problem with local gas heaters is that the toilet and the kitchen get very cold. Good thing we have very hot water (also heated with gas).

The rent for my room (in a house shared with three other people) is a bit over 200 euros per month. Considering the low salaries, the general price level and the high inflation, living here is very expensive

This is a good house, excellent location and very nice flatmates. Very happy here :)

No fear

Happy to be back. Last couple of weeks.. Wonderful, busy, lifechanging, exciting. Old and new people, new sides of them, new places, old things with new people, new sides of myself.

I have exactly one months left. Kind of I'm excited to stabilize my life and to be able to enjoy of these things I'm living now with more stability and for longer periods of time. Then again I am not looking at all forward to returning to Finland because I fear my opportunities will partly seize existing, that I wont find this thrill or passion in people over there. I fear things will be more bland. I know it's mainly up to myself but here it is easy to jump on the stream of neverending adventures and enjoy the ride. In Finland I am the wagon, I am the motor that brings me forward.

Probably the Finns understand me when I say that despite the cold, the darkness, the drunks etc what I most fear returning is the grayness. Day in and day out we work, fill our duties as taxpayers, follow the rules, comply with our duties, do what we are supposed to do on our free time and complain about how life is boring. How easy it is to fall in that trap. How will I notice if I do fall in that trap? Is it actually a trap? Am I maybe better off there, secure, controlled, with little surprises but little drama as well. Or do I want more?

Well, thoughts. This does cross my mind every now and then though. Am I living the most exciting years of my life and the ones that follow will be completely horrible? I surely hope it's not like that. At least for now home is wherever I lay my head. Lets just hope it brings happiness too.

Flashback

Last night I was watching the new episodes of Game of Thrones. A flashback hit me when I heard the opening song. You see, I watched the entire season one of Game of Thrones during my second week in Brussels last september. That was my first week with Mhamed (for my new readers who don't know about the adventures I had with my flatmate Mhamed, check out the posts in September - November 2011).

I don't think too often about Mhamed these days. I got out safe, no harm done except for the money lost but in the end that's just money. So all good. Nevertheless, every now and then I get reminded and I get the chills, even though I consciously never thought that it had a negative impact on me. Some people have similar ways of talking, similar eyes, same pitch of the voice, similar body structure.. Especially similar gestures make me slightly uneasy. Not much but just enough that I get reminded.

How do I feel about it now? It was a very funny time. The one month I spent in Mhamed's home taught me a lot about the human mind and about the conflicts of the modern world and Islam. The fact that I didn't have a key to my home made my settling down in Brussels much slower. Mhamed despite being nice to me was a ticking bomb. Two more months and I would have seen another, an even darker side of him. Then it would probably have been dangerous to stay there.

All in all, it was an interesting experience. I got to live with a homosexual drunk middle-age muslim who had severe psychological problems added to the problems with law and the regular prostitution he was practising. It's not every day that one gets to live in a soap opera.

Photos!

It's photo time! No, I'm not uploading photos here, the ones I want to share reach the random public better on Facebook. If you're not registered, click this LINK so you get access to the photos. Sofar I've uploaded photos from a trek and the photos from my recent trip to central Chile and Mendoza in eastern Argentina.

Overall it was a wonderful trip. I spent 18 hours in bus getting to Valparaiso in Chile, stayed there 3 nights, then back to Mendoza in Argentina. Chile was notably different to Argentina (that's what also the Argentinians say). It's more organized, people respect the rules more. It's "colder" litterally but also in the sense that there isn't as much of the warm lifestyle that is almost adorable in latinos. The man I sat next to in the bus said that Chileans want to work whereas Argentinians try every trick to avoid working. Well, Chile is going strong and together with Brazil it's said to be the leading star of South American economy. Maybe it's culture, maybe it's politics.

I did also traditional couchsurfing for the first time in a long time. Usually I just meet people through CS but in Valparaiso I stayed with a guy named Francisco. He had a huge house all to himself so we were 3 surfers staying at his place. The great thing was that we all hit it off really well and I was reminded of the grandeur of peoples hospitality. Couchsurfing really represents a great ideology and brings together likeminded people. If you don't know it yet, check out this link.

Now I'm off to dance a little, tomorrow it's my turn to cook at work. Also our workshops will finally start so he have people representing the press and the cultural scene visiting La Ribera. Plus my flatmate will get a tattoo :P

We see the same moon

A couple of nights ago the moon was full and bright. I was trekking with my flatmate and our guide in the Andes. The days had been warm so the night wasn't too cold up in the mountain. There is very little vegetation so the light reflected from the moon was bright. In the middle of the night it would have been possible to read a book outside. I had a visible shadow behind me and a fascinating view in front of me.

Standing there, outside and alone, I thought about an album by Mr. Presidents called "We see the same sun". We see the same moon, too. You saw that same moon even though you were probably several thousand kilometers away. The moon, the mountains, the sky, everything exists and keeps on existing with or without us. We are ants. We work, fill our purpose in life and then die. All our joys and sorrows, albeit significant for us, are only drops in the ocean, insignificant parts of the big picture.

When did we stop being humble and instead started acting as lords of the universe?

Action pack

Very busy days at work. March 24th was the anniversary of the latest coup d'etat in 1976. The dictatorship that was established is the reason why today hidden detention centers are open as museums and why hundreds of thousands of people live in poverty with friends and family disappeared. The dictatorship made the blooming industry of Argentina hit rock bottom. The dictatorship of the 70's is actually partly the reason why my life is the way it is here in Argentina. What a curious thought...

On Saturday the 24th the memory centers in Cordoba (meaning former detention centers, Campo de La Ribera being one of three) organized a concert of Leon Gieco, a long time superstar in Argentina. We had 15 000 people present that day. Later in the evening a peaceful march was organized in the center. Without any official number to present, the people participating in the march filled the lenght of 8 blocks of the avenue. Thousands.

On Monday in the tribunal of Cordoba 3 ex police officers got condemned for crimes committed during the dictatorship. More specifically what happened was that 3 politically active students were kidnapped in 1976. They were forced into a car (one was shot in the back already then). They were driven to a remote location where the police killed these people with 172 bullets in total. The defence alleged that these students had driven to a check post where they had started shooting at the police, which means that the 172 bullets were shot in self defence. The court sentenced these police officers for life in prison, in Argentina equaling apparently around 20 years. It was beautiful. People were hugging eachother, laghing, crying, jumping together. It was a day of justice.

For the ones interested, what they're doing here with accusing people over 30 years later is actually quite clever, look it up. Plus there's no international tribunal, it's all Argentinian work.

On Thursday a group of students came to Campo de La Ribera for a volunteer day. Wall painting, cleaning, planting flowers, stamping books... We had choripanes for lunch and in the afternoon a discussion and a tour. In the evening I was given a very appreciated class on how to barbecue the Argentinian way. Five kinds of meat, salads, potatoes, bread, eggplants, drinks and later on coctails with condensed milk, fruits... All this for 7 euros per person! And now I have some tricks up my sleeve.

So this was my week. The next days I'll be in Chile and Mendoza in western Argentina. I have to renew my visa which makes a perfect excuse. Hectic but fun days.

Fall is here

Now it is officially fall. How do I know? Because this is the first night I keep my windows closed? Because there is rainfall? Because it's chillier? Nope. I know we're experiencing fall because we passed March 21st.

Apparently in several countries seasons of the year are defined by exact dates, dictated by the equinox. So, fall starts on March 21st, winter on June 21st, spring on September 21st and winter on December 21st. The 21st of this month Facebook-updates were mainly about the fall. On the radio the hosts talked about how warm the climate will be during the first weeks of the fall. It was a given fact. Summer was gone.

In Finland they're experiencing now a wonderful weather. +5 - +7'C, sunshine, melting snow... How do we know that it's spring? Because the sun is shining. The climate is getting warmer. It's unlikely that it will snow anymore. Spring comes when it chooses to, usually in February, March or April. (As a sidenote here - Usually temperature in most places in the world stays above zero. Therefore there is no need to stress the fact that the temperature is above freezing point. On the contrary we Finns do stress that difference. Usually we say that it's "plus 10 degrees", "plus 3 degrees" and so on.)

So now the upper and the lower hemisphere have stepped into the next season. A wonderful and beautiful season with soft sunlight, colors and more agreeable weather, whichever season it may be.

Oh no..

... I'm trying to fight it but sometimes it escapes me. I'm involuntarily starting to do the countdown. "Only XX days left in Córdoba", "only XX weekends left to spend with nice people and explore beautiful places", "only XX tango classes left"... For god's sake, I'm staying here for 3 months, not 3 days. Let go, relax, enjoy the ride.

There's one thing that is making this worse. I'm starting to like it here.

Alive and much more

This weekend I went to San Marcos Sierras, a hippie village in nothern Cordoba (the province). Supposedly it's located on one of the spiritual epicenters of South America. The others are Macchu Picchu in Peru and a farm called Aurorita in Uruguay.

Although I made a very slight effort to get company for this trip, in the end I sat in the bus alone. On my way back I understood that it was for the best. San Marcos is my little secret and the place where many interesting things happened. One especially noteworthy event was the following.

I wanted to take advantage of my last day in San Marcos so I woke up at sunrise and started walking to a river some 5 km away. I thought about hitchhiking. It's something that I've never done, although I've given rides to complete strangers and also stepped into a car where I was the only white/female person. Potentially dangerous but sofar so good. So, when walking on that dirt road a car stopped offering a ride, I went for it.

Matias and Juan were returning from a party. Juan was faily drunk but Matias had wanted to go to "his" place by the river, to be with nature for a while. A bit foolishly (I trust people way more than I should) I didn't get off at the main entrance to the river but continued a few kilometers further. With the car and the sleeping Juan left behind, Matias led me to the river, to some exquisite land and rock formations, through the forest and to higher grounds.

Many times I wondered if this was a good idea. There were no people anywhere nearby, so my cries for help would have been useless. My main reassurance was that if Matias was unarmed, I could probably beat him in a struggle. But none of that was necessary. We talked about his family, nature, drugs and Mother Earth. We challenged eachother and climbed higher to places making our own path through the vegetation (the current status of my shoes and my legs is evidence of that). We sat in silence and had geckoes and hummingbirds approach us. Mother Nature was present indeed.

I thought about Leakhena, a girl I met in Cambodia (there's an entire text about her in May 2010). There are people out there who make everything worth while. All our doubts, our questions, our hesitations are washed away when that right person crosses our path. I will probably never see Matias or Leakhena again, but I will remember them as people who showed me why I chose to live this way.