Life after the first shock

Far have I travelled, much have I seen, a life I have lived that was fairly unseen.

My life has mainly been about experiences. What I have not known or what I have not done - that is what has intrigued me, what has motivated me, what has kept me inspired. The more exotic, the better. So, now here in Brussels I face new experiences again but something is different. I feel uneasy. I feel like I'm at home but I'm not. I'm in Europe and that is the culture shock.

For an European, living in most of Europe is fairly easy. The mentality of the people, the values in life and the way of living are more or less similar. I can even eat exactly the same food here as I eat back home. The problem is that in my mind I'm abroad and it should be difficult. It should be a battle about avoiding being ripped off and stepping on cocroaches, putting on sunscreen every morning, waking up to people yelling on the street and buying breakfast from a shopping cart at a street corner. Here I have none of that, it's like I'm in Finland. That is the culture shock.

Still, some things are the same as in the exotic places.

The weather has been absolutely incredible these two weeks. It's summer. This week it's been around 24'c with the sun shining bright and me sweating. I came prepared for rain, wind and cold. Where are my summer dresses when I need them?

The people are nice as well, as they are everywhere. The few people I've gotten to know here I could easily have as friends. Among them are the interns at the representation that are girls only. We're a somewhat homogenous group of international, confident and motivated young women getting started with their carreers.

We, some of the interns, at an Ethiopian restaurant called Kokob. We had different stews served on a pancake of a bread with the taste of vinegar.

Last but not least, the men are the same. It is actually more a cultural thing but as Brussels is very international, you have everything here. This story includes Mhamed, my dear flatmate, as well. On Wednesday Mhamed had a Moroccan friend coming over, a ladies man, he said. This Mohammed (don't Muslims seriously have better imagination than naming all men after the prophet??) kept on/off looking at me all evening. When Mhamad started listening to his prayers, I had already gone to my room. In comes Mohammed who wants to use the bathroom that's in my room. In stead of returning to Mhamed, he sits on my bed and gets way too friendly. Urgh. Thankfully my "I really need to sleep now" get's the message through and he leaves. Mhamed was sincerely sorry for what had happened. So tonight that Mhamed left for work he told me not to open the door because this Mohammed had gotten some "ideas" regarding me and would maybe try and meet me. So much for the message getting through.. Conclusion: I still smile way too much, especially to men that tend to think too highly about themselves. I can't keep up with this nice girl mode, it's getting me in trouble no matter where I go.

So, all in all, I'm good, all is good. I have food and shelter, a job and a social scene, entertainment and time off. Feels like I've been here a month already.

Flatpartners - flatmates?

After an intensive search, I finally found a room to rent here in Brussels. Until mid-December, I'm living on Rue Lepage 8, in the Sainte-Catherine area, about 5 blocks from the main square. I have one big room with double bed and it only costs me 320€ per month. Believe me, that's cheap. The apartment is a duplex with kitchen, toilet and bathroom. The other room is occupied by a person called Mhamed Gabbas. He is Moroccan, a muslim and homosexual. He works as a translator witht he muslim society in Brussels and at home he listens non-stop to the Quran.

  My room with a Marimekko Fatboy (!!!). Apparently I'll get a desk next week.

Mhamed is exactly the kind of person people make fun. He's super gay in his behaviour and in his way of talking. He's 49-years-old but very immature in many things and even childish in some. He also treats me a bit like a child sometimes, warning me about a hot stove or of a slippery floor, also having the tendency to tell the same things at least twice a day. I'm the first person to share the apartment with him so we're just starting to get the hang of this. Now were both very cordial and polite but let's see how this goes. I'm a patient person but it might be that soon I find out that I'm not..

Mhamed is a "modern" muslim (according to his own saying), he drinks, eats pork meat and - well - likes men. He still hasn't gotten over his last boyfriend, that ended up marrying his sister and who now is dating a black man. Catastrophe! There's a lot of drama in his life but apparently not many friends, so he is seizing every opportunity to talk with me. He keeps repeating that we're a family.

His English is like my French, so we manage on both languages but occasionally it takes time for the message to come through. Now his mission is to teach me more French, so he's repeating important words to me and speaks to me in a clear way. Sometimes he even pretends not to understand my English so that I'd be forced to speak French. This is aboslutely superb and if we continue like this, I'll be more fluent in no time. This, apart from the cultural interest, is reason enoug to keep me here.

I'm quite sure that the most interesting and funny stories that I have to tell about my time in Brussels will be about him. This will be a cultural lesson but most importantly, a lesson about myself and about people I haven't interacted with before. God, keep me sane.

Bonjour à tous!

Three days in Brussels have passed. This is the current setting:

I'm doing an internship at the Finnish permanent representation at the EU. Clearly speaking, it's the miniature government of Finland at the EU. It is us who participate in all the meetings, speak in the name of Finland and report back to our country of what is going on. My work involves security. Armed conflicts, civil actions, anything that the EU and/or Finland is involved in. Sofar I've attended a couple of meetings and wondered around the European Council building like a question mark but it will be fine.

I still don't have a place of my own. I'm trying, believe me. Foolishly I turned down some offers that were bad but in this situation I'm far less picky. Now I'm thanking any god out there that I have a roof over my head. A Finnish friend heard my cry earlier and gave me the name of a friend of hers who lives here in Brussels. I contacted her and since Wednesday, I've been crashing at her place. It's wonderful to meet people like that and in addition, this person is very nice too. I can't stay here for long, though, my conscience wont permit it.

Talking about apartment hunting - last night I went to see a room. The "landlord" had gotten 134 inquiries about the room, so being elected is almost like winning the lottely. I don't have my hopes too up.

My French.. Well, I speak, I'm understood most of the times but in social settings I just can't do it yet. My time here wont change it and francly, I'm not all into learning French perfectly, but I manage.

Brussels. Well, sofar I know very little. There are tons of people in their late 20's here. Interns, officials, explorers, immigrants. It's a busy city with people working excessively, so also the entertainment is heavy. Once I manage to find a place, I'll explore more like I usually do (and when I get my bicycle!).

So this is me now. There's a lot of Finns here. They're all nice but I'm struggling a bit. I'd like to socialize more with diverse people but it's just sooo easy to stick with the Finns. Let's see what happens this fall. Three months is nothing. Three months may be everything. Time will tell.

Here I go again on my own

What truth lies in so few words. Once again, I'm in a new country, facing new challenges, all by myself and ready to embrace the future. What a busy month it has been!

Anybody who has ever entered my Facebook profile knows that I've been in Mexico. Now I spent there two weeks on vacation. It was amazing. Not only the things a saw and lived, but the things that I felt and the people I met. It was like returning home but as a stranger. Everything was the same but still different. It felt like my place. It was like escaping to a haven where all is good, where anything is possible and where I feel loved.

Maybe that's the key word. Love. I give love and I feel love. I love how I feel there. I love it when people hug me and kiss me without other intentions. I love it how I can speak to a stranger like a friend, dance like drug addict and laugh like a child. I feel cherished, important, cared for. I can show the love and affection I have for others. Some people I only met once but nevertheless I still felt the connection. Surely you all know what I'm talking about. You meet a person after a long time and everything is just like before. The smiles, the jokes, the ease of being, the chemistry. And then you're gone, like always.

Why did I return? For the food, for the culture and for my friends. One of the greatest reasons was nevertheless to pinpoint the development within me that has happened during these two years. I'm more mature, stable, self-certain and vivid. I'm less pensive and worrying. In good and bad. There's a change in all of us, but what has provoked it? What has given it its shape?

Change in ourselves is something we have little power over. You can decide to become something but most of the time, nature makes that decision for you. That is when you should pay notice, see the difference in yourself and study yourself. Are you the person you want to be? If you don't like what you have become, you have to work hard to make a change. We are never complete as persons. A disorganized person must never explain a mess by saying "That's just who I am.", because that's a lie. We are who we choose to be.

For me, coming back from Mexico and starting once again a new life in a new city, it's time for reassesment. Once again I have the tools to become something greater. You have them too. You just have to know yourself first and have people who love you for who you are. Then you can become anything.