lauantai 17. syyskuuta 2011

Here I go again on my own

What truth lies in so few words. Once again, I'm in a new country, facing new challenges, all by myself and ready to embrace the future. What a busy month it has been!

Anybody who has ever entered my Facebook profile knows that I've been in Mexico. Now I spent there two weeks on vacation. It was amazing. Not only the things a saw and lived, but the things that I felt and the people I met. It was like returning home but as a stranger. Everything was the same but still different. It felt like my place. It was like escaping to a haven where all is good, where anything is possible and where I feel loved.

Maybe that's the key word. Love. I give love and I feel love. I love how I feel there. I love it when people hug me and kiss me without other intentions. I love it how I can speak to a stranger like a friend, dance like drug addict and laugh like a child. I feel cherished, important, cared for. I can show the love and affection I have for others. Some people I only met once but nevertheless I still felt the connection. Surely you all know what I'm talking about. You meet a person after a long time and everything is just like before. The smiles, the jokes, the ease of being, the chemistry. And then you're gone, like always.

Why did I return? For the food, for the culture and for my friends. One of the greatest reasons was nevertheless to pinpoint the development within me that has happened during these two years. I'm more mature, stable, self-certain and vivid. I'm less pensive and worrying. In good and bad. There's a change in all of us, but what has provoked it? What has given it its shape?

Change in ourselves is something we have little power over. You can decide to become something but most of the time, nature makes that decision for you. That is when you should pay notice, see the difference in yourself and study yourself. Are you the person you want to be? If you don't like what you have become, you have to work hard to make a change. We are never complete as persons. A disorganized person must never explain a mess by saying "That's just who I am.", because that's a lie. We are who we choose to be.

For me, coming back from Mexico and starting once again a new life in a new city, it's time for reassesment. Once again I have the tools to become something greater. You have them too. You just have to know yourself first and have people who love you for who you are. Then you can become anything.

2 kommenttia:

  1. Fint sagt Hanna! Håller helt med dej om att man själv väljer vem men är. Ibland inser man bara inte det, för man har så bråttom att hinna med allt man vill/borde/måste. Tror inte riktigt att det går att leva utan några måsten alls, men däremot är det väl viktigt att man alltid stannar upp och funderar över vad man håller på med emellanåt. :)

  2. Exakt Sara, just dedär mena jag. Faran lite med världen nuförtiden e att vi aldrig har det tråkigt. Om vi int har nånting annat o göra så lyssnar vi på musik eller tittar på TV. Vi hinner väldigt sällan sjunka in i våra egna tankar o faktiskt lyssna på det som automatiskt upptar medvetandet. Vi gömmer oss från oss själva. Men med alla aktiviteter som erbjuds nuförtiden, vi hinner inte mera lyssna på oss själva.