Today was a magical day.
It started with some very bad news about a serious accident just a stone's throw away from the EU-buildings. Sometimes I wonder what impact fate has, if people who heard about or witnessed the accident now drive and walk more carefully, preveting an even greater accident from happening or preventing the death of a person who will change the world. Nobody lives or dies without a cause. This was a reminder that life is fragile and that nothing should be taken for granted. Suddenly I felt very grateful and special for having survived 25 years on the face of this earth.
At work we had rice porridge and glögi (a Finnish version of mulled wine, a Christmas drink) for lunch. In the dim candle light I felt it. Christmas was coming. And you know what else? I was getting soaked up with my own thoughts.
After work I went to a cafe to spend a while writing my diary before meeting with my flatmate. In the end she couldn't come, which was actually very good. Sitting there in the corner of a busy cafe, watching people, having brief eye contact with bypassers, I reached another level of consciousness. My thoughts started flying and during the more than three hours I sat there, I wrote pages and pages about life, attitudes, personality, perception, subjective and objective truths and myself.
I found out that even after all these years, I actually don't have any idea who I am deep down.
What a liberating feeling to understand once again how dependent I am of everything, how vague my personality actually is and how my life is the sum of thousands of lucky coincidences.
I have been fortunate enought to meet people here in Brussels who have stimulated my intellect immensely, even just with their presence. Now that I gave myself time to stop for a while, all supressed thoughs conquered my mind. I have the tendency to become very philosofical sometimes, so the process of elaborating my thoughts into actual ideas and understandings was more than thrilling. The waiter at the cafe invited me a second coffee, maybe thinking I was a writer who had been inspired by the place. Later I walked in the Christmas lit Sablon area without really touching the ground or seeing anything.
Having returned to reality, the song What A Difference A Day Made was on my mind. Enjoy this time. It can be magical in its own special way if you let it.