keskiviikko 3. lokakuuta 2012

Big changes, vol. 251

New post, new city, new job. Changes, people, kitchen ware, gym, a general sensation of being lost. This is a good time to do a re-introduction.

Hello, my name is Hanna. I am 25 years and 363 days old. I live in Helsinki, Finland. Currently I am working at the Office of the Ombudsman for Minorities that tackles issues of ethnic discrimination. My hobbies are dancing, travelling, learning and participation in virtually anything I have time for. It wasn't always like this. This fall has been a time of changes.

Big change #1 - I'm back in Finland, temporarily permanently. A necessity, no bigger ideology behind it. I've experienced great and unforgettable things but it's also necessary to live a normal life for a while. Since last fall basically I've been getting tired. Not physically, my endurance is still high there. It's rather the psychological part. A constant flood of incredible places, fun people and exciting opportunities becomes more neutral with time. I trekked to a waterfall but wasn't really amazed by it because I've seen the Iguassu falls. A juggler or a singer is usually very mediocre because I have seen approx.. 500 of each performing. When there is very much of everything, making something special becomes trickier. That's where I am, that is my challenge.

Big change #2 - I live in Helsinki. I'm against urbanization. Wait? "Practice what you preach"? *zip* For about as long as I didn't have a job in Helsinki, I didn't want to move here. It's so predictable. Everybody's here. It's the easy solution because the jobs, the ambitious youth and the excitement is here. Of course it's fun to live here because I do feel my opportunities sky rocket when I open my eyes to the job market in Helsinki. Nevertheless, the trend of people abandoning the countryside to live in the cities is simply not the way that this country thrives, which is why I feel I should set an example. On the other hand, my experience and education will serve me best here. Oh what a dilemma.

Big change #3 - I have a job. A good job with soft values. Sometimes I feel like I'm portrayed as the "save the world" person that I'm not.  I'm no corporate lawyer either. The goal is to have a job that satisfies my ambition, pays my living and reflects my values. With dirty politics, networking and money involved in almost (some would say absolutely) everything, it seems my values are the first ones under the microscope. Anyway. I sometimes explain to people that in this office we are a bunch of lawyers that only deal with ethnic discrimination cases. Our clients are immigrants and ethnic Finnish minorities. Our aim is to improve their situation in Finland.

Big change #4  - I have a somewhat steady future. For the first time since 2008, I am actually able (at least in theory) to agree on something for next year. I will be here. Before everything has been temporary so there has been no need to analyze things any deeper. People, places, situations -  they're all manageable for a while. Usually I've been gone before that while has been over. Now I'll stay here. I can create more long-lasting relationships with people again. Maybe the salesperson at the corner shop gets to know me. I will know where I can buy bikes inner tyres. Things can become easy. I can start putting my energy on something else than moving around or creating a new life from scratch.

The conclusion might be that I will change as a person. That remains to be seen.

1 kommentti:

  1. Osui ja upposi. L taisi tirauttaa muutaman kyyneleenkin. Nyt takaisin gradun pariin, jotta pääsen hakemaan töitä sieltä isolta kirkolta, kuten helsinkiläistynyt ystäväni Jaana sanoo :)